“Don’t tell me I am the best, because then I’ll get too confident and embarrass myself. But, don’t tell me I am not good enough either, because then I’ll doubt myself and give up. Just believe in me, and tell me I can do it then I will.” ― Paula Acedo
In the materialistic world, people are so busy they usually forget their worth. They believe that they are not good enough. Recognizing your self-worth is how you regard yourself. Today, I want to take a moment and make you realize that you are good enough.
Here, I am going to share my personal story that I faced in my childhood. I don’t know your particular upbringing but I can tell you from my personal experiences that a feeling of insecurity or inadequacy set in very early in my life. I grew up with a lot of criticism. Everything from the way I breathed to my emotions were scrutinized and criticized.
You are enough and you shouldn’t be ashamed
The more I think the more I become depressed and the more this makes me sadder. My self-esteem was very low because I was not confident and I lived in a constant state of vigilance over my feelings and actions. On top of that, I was ashamed and ridiculed for some things that were the consequence of my upbringing. Sometimes, you cannot control the circumstances but you are losing everyone and realizing that you are not good enough. That is just your negative thought or thinking which deeply destroys you.
You are good enough. One should be able to see right through the time. I believe that you should practice thankfulness to appreciate little things that you do have in your life and reward yourself. When a person gets in the habit of deciding that certain things in their life or their own life itself aren’t good enough, it becomes extremely hard to stop that thinking because deep inside it ruins your mind as well as your body. There is a balance between narcissism and being insecure, and that balance is for you to discover.
Never convince yourself of a problem
Marching forward, the other thing is that the more you convince yourself, if it is a big problem then it will probably become one, it is very weird how we react to our own expectations and if you expect yourself to fail and you expect yourself to be falling short of your own expectations you definitely will, that is just obviously not a successful mindset.
To have a positive mindset you need to do some things which are quite important in your life. You might be putting your value in the hands of other people and I suggest you take hold of your own life as soon as you can. The sooner that you measure your own success the sooner you can create your own success. If you feel like you are worthless and you are kicking your own rear end and you find that you are repeating thoughts of negativity directed at yourself, you need to talk to your loved ones because there might be something in the brood of it just of this nature. Your loved ones will help you to get out of this kind of thinking.
For example, The most beautiful flower in the world not only comes from dirt but has no worth until it sacrifices it is life to bring beauty to someone else and this is why we need to remind that we are good enough.
Give it time
Another symptom of undealt with issues especially if it is rooted in your upbringing, is to gravitate towards others who treat you the same way which just validates how little you are worth to you if you are already feeling that way. You may have read it, empaths attract narcissists. If your parents exhibited any traits of narcissistic personality disorder, you might run the risk of having the same thing or being in the place of such empty self-loathing that you describe. I suggest you have patience, trust the process and give yourself time and think wisely.
Set a daily reminder that You are good enough, you just cannot see it. There are lots of books, videos, articles on the Internet about this problem, look for them. Focus on positive things, forgive yourself for what you wanted to do but haven’t done, sympathize yourself, spoil yourself a bit with the things you like, read or watch self-motivating materials and activities, and then don’t forget to reward yourself for the effort with another bit of something you like. Never regret your past actions. What’s done is done and most probably for the best. Put yourself in a better mood, go for a coffee as it gives additional energy.
Moving further on things which you need to take care of.
- Your mind has a very convincing power. I read a quote that says that “Do not believe everything you think”. Thoughts are just thoughts that can give you the right way, however, can ruin your life and you will feel more stressed.
- You only need love more which saves you from bad thoughts and negativity. Love also encourages you to think positively and know your self-worth.
- Stop comparing yourself with other people because many of them face different circumstances. In this universe, there are people who are going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.
- You need to remind yourself that you are enough which means you do not have to strive to become more worthy and more loved.
- You should accept that you make mistakes. You simply accept your flaws which is quite difficult because many beings have stubborn nature.
- You are good enough to change your life even you do not feel like changing your life because life really, truly can change in an instant.
- You can wear what you want. Do not worry about anyone else. You deserve to feel good and comfortable in your clothes.
- You should spend your day and there might be things that you can do on Sundays. Consider, your Sunday as a rest day.
- Chasing your own dreams is the best thing to know more about that you are good enough. So, if you hustle your ass off, you learn what you should learn. Moreover, moving out of your own way and you are going to make it all come true.
- Having a good grasp on everything does not mean that you do not have to get everything and you certainly, do not have to be everything. It also does not mean you do not need anyone or anything else.
- Sometimes, failures are lessons that are important and useful. No day is ever wasted if you spend your time wisely.
- Past possibilities may be possible for tomorrow. Do not let yourself down. Reminds your self-worth daily.
- You have to work hard on yourself daily and these efforts will let you know your importance and your worth.
- Your scars are your strength. Do not allow your scars to make you live your life in fear.
- You do need approval. There are very few people who will stay loyal to you and you should be one of them.
Hammering the last nail, I would like to jot down, we are human. We process a situation under stress and do something to survive in a moment to not look like a failure. We make up strategies to survive. Self-preservation runs the show, but we recognize that at some level we maintain a facade. With this in the background, we compare ourselves against others about everything and assign meaning.
We think that we are our thoughts. If you give the circumstances and thoughts all the attention, then life occurs as that perception. Most people will pretend that everything is good, so you won’t notice their version of not good enough, smart enough, strong, beautiful, or another version of worthless. Relax and understand that thoughts are just thoughts. You can create anything moving forward. Dwelling on not good enough and giving it credence and power ends up running the show. Say something new and pursue that. That will help you a lot. This is what I did.