We all lie occasionally time to time but it’s not such a big deal. At least that’s what you think. Studies show otherwise. On average we get between 10 to 200 lies a day. This might surprise a lot of people.
You will learn how to know if someone is lying to you. Here are some practical ways to do that.
1. Why would they lie
It’s very important to find out what’s driving them to do that. Why would he lie to you, what’s there that motivates him what entries does he has in mind to you. Once you understand that you will know what exactly to focus on and that will make it easier for you to find out the lie itself.
For different reasons people are either hiding something from you, denying what they are accused of trying to mislead you by giving you false information or they simply want to avoid a problem or a conflict.
So they just lie. If you can’t understand the reason why would they lie to you-you have already crossed half the way and all that you need to do is to confirm your predictions. Now before you try to figure out if someone is lying it’s very important to make sure that the other person doesn’t feel like you are suspecting him.
Make him feel comfortable and give him all the time to speak out and express all that he has to say. Often people are stressed out when they lie and they see a lot of unnecessary things.
That will help you to figure out if he is lying or not. It’s not easy to find out that someone is lying especially once some people are really good at doing that. Try not to argue or criticize and give him all the chances to speak out, because the moment they feel that you are suspecting them they will try to be more careful and behave more accurately so that you won’t find out.
How to know if someone is lying?
What are the signs that someone isn’t telling the truth?
Here is the trick. Start with honest questions. Ask him about something that you certainly know that he will answer honestly and pay attention to his tone of voice, his facial expression and body language while he’s answering your question.
Then move on and ask about the thing you think he’s lying about. If you realize a constant change in his tone of voice or facial expression and then it’s more likely that the person is lying to you.
For example, The person is smiling while talking about that and then suddenly the smile disappears after the question. Then the person might be hiding something from you. Because when we lie we act a little bit weird.
We don’t act naturally since we are stressed out and our brain is busy thinking about how to try to appear honest. But that alone isn’t enough. You can accuse someone of language because of that one trait.
That’s why it’s always to better confirm your predictions. Try to repeat this couple of times and pay attention if there is a constant change whenever you ask him about what he might be lying.
Variable signs when someone is lying
People usually lower their voices as if nothing wrong has happened. They’re trying to act naturally. It makes them look and natural and usually from their normal behaviour.
The closer they get to the lie itself the more they will lower their voice trying not to be heard clearly as if it’s not important at all. In the back of their mind, they know that they are lying, that they are doing something wrong in order to differentiate that.
Just compare that to how they would speak normally. Usually, people have a flat tone of voice which is neither loud or low unless they’re expressing or defending their opinion. In that case, people naturally raise their voice trying to be heard and understood because they’re filled with emotions.
If you know the person well enough it gets easier to find out if they are not behaving naturally. Don’t forget to not appear like you’re suspecting because that will make your job even more complicated.
Pay closer attention to their face and their body movements
Nonverbal signs also play a big role when people lie. Their focus on the lie itself, trying to talk about it as if it’s the truth, but their bodies expose them.
Their face muscles stretch up a little bit as if they’re stressed out. That’s not tough to realize. Unconsciously they try to get themselves far away from the one they’re lying to. They much stand up and sit across the table, put something in between you such as his phone or just take one step backwards.
Liars usually also try to avoid eye contact because it’s not easy to look someone in the eyes and lie. They might ask you to repeat the question sometimes to think more. Their body movement slows down. Especially their hands, because their mind is busy focusing on the lie itself. So they might just keep them in their pockets.
There are many more nonverbal signs but these are some of the most important ones.
Let’s just recap before you even look at the signs that someone is lying
- Find out what might drive someone to lie.
- Ask them questions you know they will certainly answer honestly and then follow that up with questions they might lie about.
- Pay attention to the different reaction especially their tone of voice and their body language.
It will take some practice to be good at spotting the liars but it really works.