Are you dating a guy you really like but he hasn’t brought up the commitment talk? Are you wondering if he just needs more time or if he’s just using you until someone else comes along? Situationship Vs Relationship! Let’s find out.
In this article, you will learn the eight signs that you’re not in a relationship but you’re in a situation ship and why that can be so bad.
Are there any situationship rules?
Let me start by explaining what a situationship is. I guess you could call it a pseudo-relationship. I’ve even heard it described as an imaginary relationship. it’s somewhere in the middle between friends with benefits and a committed relationship.
You start seeing a person, you’re going on dates and you start doing things regularly. There’s definitely a chemistry and attraction that leads to physical intimacy and sex, but there is no talk of commitment, no talk of relationship or exclusivity or future goals and this just continues lasting for months and even years.
Usually, one party catches more feelings and wants things to progress into a full relationship. After all maintaining the status quo won’t magically turn your situationship into a relationship. At this point, they will initiate the talk or decide to move on and what once started out as lots of fun ends up in tears and heartache.
Does this sound familiar?
Chances are if you’ve dated in modern times you’ve been in this place and you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Here are the signs that you’re in a fake relationship(situationship).
You have no words to define the relationship or no official title
You don’t even know what to call them when confronted with having to introduce them to someone. You’re not even sure if you can call them a friend or when someone asks you if he’s your boyfriend. You reply with “we’re still just seeing each other” or “we’re taking it one day at a time and going with the flow”.
One party eventually gets frustrated with the situation and asks where is this going and then pretends to be on the same page regardless of their response.
You already know that there’re no commitments
You’re dating someone that tells you from day one that he’s not interested in any type of commitment. Still, you think about becoming more than whatever it is that you are but are too afraid to say anything about it.
You rationalize to yourself that having something is better than nothing.
You avoid discussing the future
Not only do the two of you avoid a title but you also avoid any conversations that have to do with the future of your situation.
Texting is a primary form of communication and even that’s pretty casual
There’s no regular good morning calls or calls before bed and most of your communication is not emotional or just small talk until you make your next plan for hanging out.
Even if you want to you probably won’t call them first and chances are you don’t share too much of your day-to-day life with them even though you find yourself communicating daily.
Your friends and family will probably know much more about your real thoughts feelings and situation than him.
You have no pictures together
You haven’t taken any pictures together or haven’t posted anything to social media alluding to any sort of idea that you’re in a pseudo-relationship.
Routinely sleepovers are much common for you
It doesn’t feel important to just leave after sex. You actually spend the night and probably even have coffee and breakfast together in the morning. You might even have a toothbrush at their place.
Right to your feelings! You don’t feel like you have it.
When your friend does something upsetting it’s one thing to be upset, when your official partner has disappointed you, when it’s someone who won’t even admit that they’re dating, you question if you even have the right to feel this way.
Look it’s okay to be in a situation ship if that’s what you want at the moment. Nothing is wrong with enjoying someone’s company and taking things slowly until you want to give them more.
How to end a situationship?
Sometimes it’s easier than a relationship because you aren’t in a place in life where you can squeeze in any additional commitments or responsibilities. I get that. Just don’t look at your situation ship as an inevitable stepping stone into a real relationship.
Don’t get stuck in a situation where you’re hanging on to the hope of something more developing. It probably won’t ever happen and if you can’t ever see yourself in a relationship with this person you have to ask yourself if you’re okay with giving this person so much of your time and effort. Are you okay with the possibility of gaining more feelings for someone who you won’t ever be in a committed relationship with?
If you’re not satisfied and feel like your time and effort can be better spent elsewhere, respect yourself and love yourself enough to let the situation ship go.
Don’t let an unclear situation ship cause you to forget what you deserve.