Do you run out of things to say on a date?
I believe most people run out of things to say because they’re worried about running out of things to say. If you can get yourself focused on other things you’re already halfway there.
So let’s get into the key reasons why you’re running out of things to say on a date.
1. You see her as very much of a stranger
You think that you have nothing in common with. So for that reason, people get into a very formal conversation which makes everything awkward because of the tone of the conversation.
It’s much easier to run out of things to say because you’re basically assuming you’re talking to a complete stranger.
What you need to do if you want to get effective at this is to assume that she’s at least friend material.
So assume she’s a friend and you’ll see you’ll just assume that you have things in common.
So here’s the trick for that even if you meet a girl for the first time.
Assume you’ve already met her a few times try it out and see how it changes how relaxed you feel around her.
2. You think too much
You think you have to try to come across as clever a more sophisticated more special more intelligent than you actually are.
Here’s what happens when you think you have to be the smartest person in the room or you have to impress her with your intelligence or your high flow and conversation.
You freak out and you overthink everything.
You need to learn to accept yourself as you are, to appreciate yourself as you are, and to realize that on a date when you’re trying to be something else that you’re not then you’re always going to give off that vibe that you’re sort of trying too hard.
One of the things women are most attracted to is authenticity you’ll find out that actually who you are is good enough and you’ll actually realize that women are far more interested than you when you’re just kicking back and you when you’re just being what we call yourself.
3. You’re are censoring yourself too much
Censoring is when you second guess everything.
You’re saying you’re stopping yourself from saying whatever comes to your mind for fear of looking stupid for fear of being weird for fear of saying the wrong thing.
The easiest way to stop censoring yourself is to take a mobile phone and you basically set a timer for 5 minutes a day in the morning and you just speak out loud without stopping.
You don’t censor yourself you practice speaking out loud whatever comes to your mind you just keep continuously speaking.
Doing that helps you to practice this so this is really a useful technique to use.
4. You freak out because you think the conversation is the only thing that matters
It’s not. Everything else matters.
The conversations, the words you’re actually saying are sort of a byproduct of what you’re experiencing.
It’s far more important that you take everything in that you’re taking in what she’s doing, what she’s saying, that your body language works, that you are you’re having eye contact, you’re having fun and you’re doing all kinds of things all of that is important.
The conversation is just a byproduct of that.
So your conversation is really what you’re reacting to when you’re speaking to a girl a.
Not of people think it’s a date so therefore now we have to focus on the conversation all the time it’s not that.
It’s everything else and the conversation is just something that happens when you hang out with your friends, you’re doing things and you’re talking at the same time you don’t over plan your conversation, Do you?
So bear that in mind when it comes to dates.
5. You feel the pressure of doing it all yourself
It’s not your job to run the conversation by yourself.
It’s not your job to make it all happen by thinking it up in your head.
If the girl doesn’t keep the conversation going then you know maybe you’re in the wrong place with her.
Maybe you should be hanging out with somebody else because you know she’s bored or she is bored.
A conversation happens between 2 people or 3 people or whatever many people are there.
So it’s not all just your job to keep it going.
6. You’re not really listening
You’re not listening to her, you’re not listening to anything else that’s going on, you’re not hearing what she’s really saying, you’re not picking up on her intentions.
You don’t see what her face looks like because there’s so much in the head about thinking what to say next or how to not run out of things to say okay.
What you really need to do is to listen well to what she’s saying and pick things up.
Picking up things and conversations is a crucial key and very simple thing that you can do.
The other thing is to listen to what you’re hearing around. You see what you’re seeing around you and react to that and that makes your conversation.
So use your senses and use your senses as well when you’re listening to her when you see her when you react to her and that’s where the conversation comes from.
7. You’re just not curious enough
You’re just not curious enough or fascinated enough with people, with things.
If you’re on a date with a girl you haven’t met yet or you use on a second third date wouldn’t you be curious about her.
Wouldn’t you be sort of fascinated with little things that she’s doing especially if you’re attracted to her?
The date is not about you managing the conversation perfectly.
The date is all about the dance of getting to know each other.
So let yourself be curious and let yourself be fascinated if you’re curious about her you’re going to find ways of engaging in the conversation.
Use that curiosity that natural curiosity.
Sometimes guys just forget that they’re allowed to be curious in this process and have fun.
If conversations with women aren’t fun for you’re doing it wrong.
The whole conversation bit is only there for you to have a good time.
You have a good time to build an attraction to flirt with her and to take the whole thing to the next level.
Make sure you make a good connection with her.
Become comfortable with her and make her comfortable as well.