Dealing with low self-esteem is something that the large majority of people go through at one point or another. People with low self-esteem tend to separate themselves from others. They lack confidence.
This lack of confidence affects day to day lives. Now there are many reasons you want to improve your self-esteem. Maybe you want to improve self-esteem in your relationship, maybe you want to build self-esteem in children or something else.
Here are 3 explosive techniques that can improve your self-esteem so you perform day to day tasks more efficiently and effectively. These techniques will build up your confidence.
1. Get out of the downward spiral
People with low self-esteem tend to think very little of themselves. They don’t really think that they’re worth much and because of this they often don’t take care of themselves very well.
You might be skipping out on showers, you might be forgetting to brush your teeth, you might be dressing poorly, you might be eating a bunch of junk food, you might be indulging in drugs and alcohol even though you know it’s bad for you.
It’s because you feel like you’re not worth taking care of. The big problem with this is when you don’t take care of yourself, your body the way it looks, the way it feels all of that starts to take a toll.
You’re going to start looking and feeling worse and worse and this will actually lower your self-esteem even more because when you look in the mirror and you see your body deteriorating then you think of yourself even less and this is what’s called a downward spiral.
Each time this cycle repeats itself each time you forget about personal hygiene or binge out on junk food and drugs. It just gets worse and worse. You take care of yourself less and less and because of that, you feel like you’re even more worthless than before.
Break out of this dangerous cycle
The first thing you need to do if you want to start feeling better about yourself again is to break out of this dangerous cycle. If you don’t break out of it you’ll never be able to take the next step that will eventually fix your low self-esteem.
The best way to break out of this spiral is by as cheesy as it seems taking care of yourself. If you’re someone who lives in a very dirty room then clean your room, if you’re someone who doesn’t shower or shave then take care of that first, if you’re someone who eats junk food all of the time then you need to start eating healthier, if you got a drug problem then you have to stop that as well.
Of course, all of this is easier said than done. Naturally, you’re not going to want to do these things but I assure you if you do if you change the way you treat yourself things will start to look better and better instead over worse.
Once you start taking care of yourself more you’re also going to face a new problem which is resistance from cognitive dissonance. It’s the uncomfortable feeling you get when you have two conflicting thoughts in your head.
There’s a part of you that wants to take care of yourself and there’s a part of you that thinks you don’t deserve it. So you’re going to have thoughts like why should I take care of myself. I don’t deserve it or there’s no point in taking care of myself, I’m worthless.
2. Worthless thoughts
One of the reasons we have low self-esteem, to begin with, is due to the thoughts that constantly harass us in our heads. You might be the type of person who constantly says to themselves nobody loves me, nobody wants to be my friend, I’m worthless, etc.
This type of self-talk is the reason why we feel so poorly about ourselves These dots over time have convinced you that all of this is true and that’s because if you listen to the same line over and over again you start to believe it.
Now in order to put a stop to all of this in order to stop these negative thoughts you need to start meditating. It’s without a doubt one of the most powerful habits you can add to your life.
But what does meditation have to do with increasing your self-esteem?
Well with meditation there’s a whole bunch of stuff but one of its most powerful benefits is the fact that it provides you multiple skills for handling your thoughts.
The first thing it teaches you is how to recognize your thoughts. Oftentimes when we’re saying negative things to ourselves we don’t even notice it. The thoughts just play in the background continuously often dozens or even hundreds of times throughout the day.
When you make meditation into a habit one of the first things you’ll start to notice is that you’ll have a negative thought and realize hey I’m having one of those thoughts right now.
The second thing meditation will teach you to do is how to reframe these thoughts. Now that you’re aware that you’re having a negative thought you can counter it. So if you made meditations to a habit and you come across a thought like ‘I’m worthless’ then you can combat that and think to yourself no that’s not true. I do bring something to the table. I’m very good at drawing or listening and that brings joy to other people.
This is just an example of course. You’ll have to fit it to your unique situation.
Here’s a very important rule to keep in mind.
The more times the thought is repeated the more you will believe it to be true.
If you throw rebuttals at every single negative thought that comes your way you will start to believe that they are false. This is very powerful because if you do this enough times you’ll start to convince yourself that you are not worthless.
It’s very important to note that this will not happen fast. It’ll take some time to rewire how you think about yourself, but every single time you notice a bad thought and actively counter it your self-esteem will increase by just a little bit.
3. Create Your Own Thoughts
The more times the thought is repeated in your head the more you will believe it to be true. It is possible that after making meditation into a habit to pick and choose certain thoughts that you would like to believe.
For eg: You Start repeating to yourself every morning the following line “I am a good person who can do good things for others”.
If you start saying this line to yourself every single morning at first you might feel some resistance. You might notice thoughts like, that’s not true or stop lying to yourself. If you keep at it, if you keep repeating it to yourself then this positive thought will eventually stay and you will believe it to be true.
It’s very important to note that the thought you want to believe is actually believable. It must be something that is somewhat true. You can’t go around telling yourself that you have magical powers and can fly it because it’s going to be pretty much impossible to start.
Pick a statement that is somewhat vague like the one I used before. I’m a good person who can do good things for others.
If you think about it almost anyone can do something good for someone else. It’s not that hard. So it makes this statement much easier to believe. If you start to believe statements like this then you will start to feel better about yourself again.
You will feel better at the same time.