Breakups, especially ugly breakups, can take a toll on people and make them feel like it’s the end of the world. It can make you question your identity and value as a human being and lead to serious problems such as depression. People going through breakups often experience a roller coaster of emotions that can be overwhelming.
In many cases, they go through the shock or denial stage where everything seems surreal, like a bad dream. Even if they knew their relationship was in trouble, they never saw the breakup coming. At this point, you may find yourself waiting for a call from your ex because you think your ex will soon realize their mistake and come running back. After the shock wears off, you’ll likely find yourself asking lots of questions. You may start wondering if there’s anything wrong with you, what went wrong, and how you could have fixed things.
After asking all the questions and realizing that the person you thought would be your life partner hasn’t called, you may fear that you’ll be lonely forever. It’s at this point that sadness and depression may kick in. You may even feel the urge to call your ex and beg to get back together.
This is not advisable because you might be setting yourself up for a big disappointment when you don’t get the response you hoped for. This could make you revert to feeling lonely or to questioning your self-worth.
When you’re done crying over the relationship that just ended, you may start to feel anger or resentment towards your ex, blaming them for the breakup. This phase can be emotionally taxing. But if handled right, it can be empowering.
It can give you positive direction to lift yourself out of the slump. This could be the first step toward healing when you realize it’s time to let go of the past and start planning for your future. When you accept what has happened, you begin to feel peace within. You’ll realize that you’re much stronger than you were and that you’ve learned from the experience.
It’s ok to let yourself go through all these emotional phases after an ugly breakup so that you can get to the point of acceptance and peace. You’ll be able to forgive your ex (and yourself) and gather the strength to move on.
Some people reach this point faster than others. Yours may take several weeks or months, but it’s ok. Try not to rush it; allow yourself to heal at your own pace so that when you decide to move on, you’ll truly be turning over a new page in your life. If you feel you’re ready for a fresh start and to give love another chance, keep reading to discover how to prepare yourself for a new chapter in your life.
Focus On Yourself
Now is the time to fall in love with yourself and grow your confidence to become a better version of yourself. You’ll likely attract more potential dates when you’re absolutely in love with the new you. Make an effort to stay healthy. Eat right, exercise, and meditate. You can even schedule an appointment with a therapist if you think you need to talk to someone about it. Or you can get support from friends and family.
Now would be a great time to find a new hobby or try out a new activity you’ve always wanted to engage in. Learning something new helps stimulate your brain so you can start the rebuilding process you need. It can also boost your self-confidence because you’ll realize that you’re capable of doing anything you set your mind to.
Be Open to Meeting New People but Take Things Slow
When you were in your previous relationship, you couldn’t go to places where you could meet new people (potential dates) without thinking twice. Now, it would be great to go out more often and be open to making new friends. To find genuine love after an ugly breakup, avoid going around desperately searching for love. Love has a way of showing up when you least expect it. So, make new friends and have a good time.
Love will surface before you know it, and when it does, take it one step at a time. Consider taking a cue from the Hong Kong dating culture. According to Meet Hong Kong Singles, a dating site, ”Dating in Hong Kong is a gradual process. Intimacy isn’t common early on, and you may want to prepare for slow progress that’s not driven by physical affection at first.”
