How To Be Confident: A Step-by-Step Guide

I know there’s a leap of individuals that are going to comment on why you shouldn’t amend yourself.

But let me make a case.

If you always do what you’ve perpetually done you will always get what you have always done.

If you want more you’re going to have to change, you’re going to have to grow in relation to this. When changing we have a tendency to grow in a very positive manner.

Famous quote by Henry Ford

So the first step to being confident is:

To be more self-aware

You have to own up to your weaknesses and be self-aware of what your insecurities are, to become more confident.

If your self-esteem is pretty low it’s most likely because you have a ton of insecurities and you don’t value yourself.

I know it’s hard and it’s a decision you’re going to have to make on your own but to be more confident you’ll have to own up to all the parts of you that suck.

Here are some examples:

Me, I get really jealous in a relationship even just seeing my girlfriend talk to some other guy. Other guys get to me and I know that’s wrong.

Another insecurity is my hairline. Oh my goodness, I have a horrible hairline. I just have to wait for long hair otherwise I look weird which is going to be interesting. When I started balding I don’t even want to think about it.

Own up to your insecurities and figure out if you can change them.


I can’t change my hairline but I can change my jealousy and work on it.

Now it might take years and it’s a huge mindset change but I’m working on it and it’s that easy.

See I can actually joke about my terrible hairline. It’s because I owned up to it. It’s not a part of me I can control I don’t see. There’s something that I identified.

I’m more confident because I know my weaknesses and I’m working on them.

It’s difficult at first but when you own up to your own insecurities and you claim them. It becomes easier to care less about what others think of you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people instead compare yourself to previous versions of yourself. That’s actually accurate data to work with so change the understanding of yourself.

Change your thinking

To be more confident you’re definitely going to have to change your thinking. Now there’s a fine line between thinking confidently and thinking arrogantly.

If you think arrogantly you’re going to become a scummy person and fall into the pitfalls and failures of an egotistical person described in ego is the enemy.

Your goal should be to think positively specifically of yourself.

women thinking about something

I don’t care how many negative traits you have or claim if you want to be more confident.

You’re going to have to overlook those and stop focusing on them.

There’s a huge big law of personal development called the law of attraction, which means the more you focus on something, the more it will manifest itself in your life.

Focus on your weaknesses and they’ll become worse, focus on your strengths and Alvaro.

Just like the author of the magic of thinking big says if you focus on something even if it’s insanely out there like owning a Lamborghini by the end of the year, if you truly focus on it, your brain will start to find ways to make it happen.

It will start focusing on the possibility and the steps you need to take to complete the goal.

Your mind is the most powerful tool

You have to put it to use and start focusing on the positive in your life and through perception, the negative will start to fade away.

Now there are times like drug addiction and other serious life problems where you shouldn’t just sweep that under the road, but when someone says something rude to you or even something like your car doesn’t start, ignore the negative and look at the positive.

It’s a little bit like stoicism.

Now you get a search for a new ride to work and maybe even need a future best friend or business partner another way.

To be more confident is to forgive yourself for anything you’ve ever held onto.

It’s may only apply to one person reading this article but it helps them grow out of that dark place, therein it’s worth my time to write about it.

Now it’s not your fault and if it is dwelling on it isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Become a better person and grow from it even if it’s just one step to forgiving yourself.

It’s a step in the right direction.

There are a couple of things in life I’ve had to forgive myself for.

One took a really hard toll on me because particularly I heard a lot of people in my life.

I forgave myself for it and look at how many people are helping now.

Cognitive Dissonance

Some famous psychologists said that if we reduce cognitive dissonance in our lives, we become healthier individuals and in turn become more authentic and confident.

The first cognitive business is when you feel things that are different from the actions that you actually take.

Cognitive Dissonance explanation

For example, If I think someone shouldn’t be doing something, but I don’t say anything because they are a person or a power of authority, I am creating cognitive dissonance in my mind.

Another example of mental stress shows that a person driving a car is terrible for the environment, but they would agree that they were an environmentally friendly person.

Cognitive dissonance can happen at any time

Cognitive dissonance can happen even without you knowing and becoming more self-aware and knowing the full outcomes of your decisions will help you in this area.

Although cognitive dissonance is still technically a series reducing conflict in belief is a basic idea of this tip.

Everyone in the voice has a head that critiques their actions.

In fact, some people have intrusive rocks that tell them to jump off that cliff or throw the baby that they’re holding.

There’s a really weird Reddit thread I read that is pretty cool some even have sought to kill elderly people or even thought of how easy would be when they’re around older people to kill it.

This doesn’t pertain to the article really but it’s called intrusive thoughts. It is something we all have.

When you do things you have to stop your inner critic from talking.

Things like, “You’re doing that wrong, She would think you’re so weird”. (Thoughts)

These types of thoughts limit us and are dangerous to our self-worth.

Usually, these inner thoughts are about what other people think and they should be dismissed, so don’t let them creep in.

To become a more confident person you’ve to think more clearly without the second belittling voice chirping its true sins.

Groom, Dress and look nice

So, How you look affects your own confidence?

If you feel like you’re walking around and bagging clothes that put down your name, you will feel it, you will think it and it will come out in your actions.

well dressed confident men

However, some people including me have noticed that just by wearing more preppy clothes, wearing a suit and tie your actions and your thoughts, will actually change.

Set small goals and achieve them

For me, this is one of the biggest things that got me the initial confidence that I needed to get out of a really depressed spot in my life.

I started running, actually started walking. I would walk around the block just once, and then when it came time for the second week to do it, walk around the block twice. This was a huge accomplishment that really helped me.

The idea here is to set achievable goals and make sure you’re always challenging yourself and hitting what your challenges are.

Hang Around confident people

Something else that I really like to talk about is hanging around more confident people.

This is just common sense and works for anything in life. If you want to be a better accountant hang around to other great accounts. If you want to be a great COD player spend time around other COD players.

Find people who have already achieved the goals that you want to achieve and spend some time with them. It’s like a shortcut.


It’s not a cheat code because everyone has this opportunity.

You just have to put in the work the hours in the effort to spend your time around people that you want to be like.

Remember the saying “You’re the average sum of the five people you spend most of your time around in your life”.

Well, it’s true. If you want to be more confident start spending more time with more confident people.

Learn to appreciate everything in the world

Sometimes it takes falling in love for you to realize that someone can see that there are great things about you.

There are so many amazing things in this world on this planet and in your circle of influence that you can be appreciative of. So don’t take them for granted.

There are some great things out there in this world which inspire you.

There are short-term methods to increase temporary confidence which is changing your body language.

In fact, body language is one of the only things that you can fake until you make it.

Your physiological posture will change the hormones in your blood and brain and make you feel more confident.

Walk like you’re going somewhere. Titt your chin up just enough that you’re more confident but not arrogant.

Smiling helps a lot since positivity is related to self-esteem.

Pull your shoulders back if you’re sitting, keep your legs pointed towards people, and put your hands together in a sherlock holmes fashion so only your fingertips are touching.

I like to do this one. When talking, look people in the eyes.

These tips help most people feel more confident within a couple of seconds so they might work for you.

Another short-term change is:

Change the way you look

Although this can delve into the long-term, some people get a sense of security and confidence from fitting in which contradicts our first tip but does work for some people.

Wearing popular clothes, the newest sunglasses, and even wearing a great cologne fragrance can help increase your temporary confidence.

While making more long-term changes to your body through weightlifting exercising and diet can also impact your self-esteem levels.

This is where being self-aware comes into play.

You have to know which style and what you need to do to be more confident and what will be easier for you.

One last short-term change that increased my confidence in me was to listen to hyped-up music

Related Articles