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What Are Five Love Languages: Book Summary

Five Love Languages is a book which expresses five love languages. There was a man who was very rich. He had almost everything in his life, still, he was not happy. One day the Author asked him, the reason behind his sadness because he had everything that a normal person dreams of. That man replied, what’s the use of these luxurious things when my family and my wife doesn’t love me.

Human’s most dominating feelings are Love And Fear, and I personally feel that love is much powerful than fear. Love can make a weak person so powerful, that he can make a path between the mountain, and on the other side it can make a healthy powerful person so weak, that he could not take his own meal with his own hands.

I can’t say about the other feelings but yes every human need love. Even if you have everything in your life, still if there is nobody to love you, then you will feel that the life is waste and of no use. Whether we say it or not, but we all want to get a lot of love from our loved ones. Love from our parents, from kids, life partner and also the love from friends.

 

Five Love Languages summary

 

Author Gary Chapman, who is an Expert of relationships, family and marriages, says every human contains a love tank, which needs love from their loved ones. Till they get that love and support from their loved ones, they feel mentally and physically stable. They feel happy. But if they do not get that love and support which they expect, then that love tank starts getting empty.

They feel unstable mentally and physically. They do not feel good and happy and start getting frustrated. When finally that love tank gets empty, then the bigger problem starts in a relationship, Like fights, sadness and other bad things happens, which slowly ends love and destroy the relationships.

Emotional love tank needs to be filled so that we can feel happy and wonderful in our life. But sadly, Most of the people doesn’t get the love what they expect. This doesn’t mean that their loved ones do not love them,

But the actual reason is, that most of the people love language is different, which we fail to understand,

For Example,

We all have a primary language which we also call as a mother tongue. It is comfortable for us to understand and speak.There are chances of knowing other languages as well, like English, French or German. But, still, we will be more familiar and comfortable in speaking and understanding our mother tongue.

Similarly, we all have different love language, which we understand the most.This primary language then fills the love tank properly.

Love has 5 Languages. If you want a happy and nice relationship with your family and with your soul mate, then you must know these Five languages of love.

You should know what is the love language of your loved ones, which make them feel special and happy. After understanding, you should express your love. As per their primary language you can fill their love tank properly.

 

Love language #1 Words of Affirmation;

A husband and wife used to fight a lot. Husband tried his best to make her feel happy. He did everything from working hard giving proper money to her, helping her with housework. For this, his wife also Respected him, but still, she never used to feel that he loved her. This thing Frustrates the husband.

But here, it wasn’t the wife’s mistake. Even after doing so much for her, he never felt the need of saying to her, that how much he loved her.

Why he loved her but never Complimented her?

He felt all these things are drastic, it looks good on screen, not in real life. Actual love is to fulfil the needs of the family, which he does with all his commitment. Now, this thing is as stupid as trying to explain an American person in Germany and getting frustrated.

Similarly, for his wife, the words were the actual and the most important reason for feeling that love and care. His wife’s primary love language was a word of affirmation, But he was expressing his love in different primary language. Word of affirmation is saying something to your partner which makes them feel good,

For Example; saying I LOVE YOU, always telling them the reason why you love them by saying or writing or by anything, To say something which encourages them, To compliment them, To appreciate them for every small and big things they do etc.

Those who have a word of affirmation as their primary love language will feel good when you say good things to them. Only then they can feel your real love and care. But if you do not say a simple special word to them, their love tank will not be filled, and they won’t feel your love.

 

Love language #2 Quality Time

Your partner will fall in love when you will spend some quality time with them. Here Quality time doesn’t mean to spend the entire day at home by watching tv, listening to their conversation while watching or being engaged in mobile. This is not a quality time. Here quality time means, giving undivided attention to them. To be present with them at the moment, and talk to them, do things which make them feel good and happy.

Maybe doing painting or cooking together, or sitting at the beach having a conversation, when you spend a quality time with them then only they will feel that love and will be happy.

 

Love Language #3 Receiving Gifts

Who does not like to get gifts. And sometimes the person you love expects gifts from you. Gifts are very special Because they make your loved ones feel good and special and make them realize, that you think about them. Whenever they see your gift, it will remind them of you which is the most wonderful feeling for them.

Now, if you are thinking how I can give a gift daily, my financial condition is not so good, I have so many other problems, there is a solution.

No one has told you to give expensive gifts

To make someone feel your true love is very simple, just give them chocolates, or a rose, or a simple card or anything, which can make your loved ones and family members entire day happy and wonderful. Now if you are financially stable, then you should give expensive gifts too. Remember, your feelings will not be measured by the price of your present, but your intention behind it.

Most of the time there is no need of a materialistic gift. Your time and efforts can be a gift for them. So make a habit and give pleasant gifts to your loved.

 

Love language #4 Act of service

The story which I told you in the first primary language, about the husband and wife, the way husband tried to show his love towards his wife, that is an act of service language. When someone’s primary language is this, they will not feel not be happy.

Just because you bring gifts for them, and compliment them, they may not be happy. Instead, they will feel your true love when you help them with some work and carry their responsibilities properly. Cooking food, cleaning the house, earning money to fulfil the house needs, to fulfil the children needs etc are all activities of services.

 

Love Language # Physical Touch

To have sex is not the only way of physical touch, Instead, it is a very pure language to show your love.

Example;

When a mother kisses or hugs her child to show her love, it’s also a physical touch. When we feel sad or something sad happens to us at that time we hug our friends or closed ones because at that time we need that love and support. Physical touch is a very strong way of showing your love or feeling the love.

There is no need to be sexual, just spending some time together while watching tv, holding their hands while walking, These things can make them feel your love.

 

Do remember, if you do something negative in someones love language, they will feel worst. If someone’s love language is a word of affirmation and you say something bad or negative, or you do not appreciate, they will feel bad.

Try to find out the primary love language of yours and your loved ones, and show them your love by their primary love language, so their emotional love tank will always be filled. Sometimes you can use all five languages, but most of the times use the primary language of your loved ones. That will be more impactful and can make your relationship stronger.

 

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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
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