As anyone with a pulse knows, feelings can be scary but that goes tenfold for the emotionally unavailable who use excuses and aloofness to hide from authentic correction.
I read somewhere that who is emotionally unavailable has a hard time receiving love and other deep emotions from others.
What I actually believe is :
It’s quite hard to understand the feeling of others because they can hardly understand their own. Moreover, they are not self-aware.
Oftentimes, they can appear quite socially advanced, but more complex emotions that go beyond niceties are often lacking !!
What actually makes someone emotionally unavailable?
While according to me, there are various facts and figures which reveal the fact that there are so many people around the world who are emotionally unavailable in many relationships.
The very first thing that came to my mind is :
#1 They Don’t Like Making Plans :
This actually means they do not want to make future plans with you.
It’s just they want to live the current moment with you !!
#2 Avoidance of Some Words :
They really don’t want that word relationship to exist in one’s life.
As long as you keep dating casually, things go pretty well !! But when you try to build a deeper commitment, they drawback !!
#3 Just A Temporary State :
Unavailability in emotions can also lead to a temporary state.
Nowadays most of the people living with mental issues like depression, anxiety, may have a hard time maintaining an emotional connection with their loved ones !!
#4 Bring To Light :
It is important to get comfortable with your own emotions before trying to share them with your partner.
However, it’s good to share your conflicts with your partner but self-revision of emotions heals many things that roaming around in one’s mind.
#5 Take It Easy & Slow :
As one of the story moral tells that slow and steady wins the race !!
Exactly the same feel with emotions.
If you realize that you have been emotionally distant then you might begin to change that as soon as possible !!
Sometimes pushing yourself to open up before you are ready can sometimes trigger your depression and discomfort – this personally happens with me and I applied this mantra in my life too !!
#6 Misunderstands You And Doesn’t Respect Your Time :
In the materialistic world, people have hectic schedules.
If you are free for them. They don’t value your time because not only are your plans botched but it’s a way to cut down on quality time spent together.
Regardless, feeling misunderstood can feel like a harsh rejection. Especially, when you are trying to handle things diplomatically !!
#8 Overdramatic :
Some think that your emotions are too weak and intense.
People like me who wear their hearts on their sleeves are easy to criticize and judge.
Uncomfortable with being serious, they might poke fun of you just saying like: you are so sensitive or you cry so easily !!
#9 Don’t Take Same Efforts :
Many multitudes are so mean because they don’t put the same efforts as you do to save the relationships.
They simply hear what you have said but don’t show any sympathy towards that!! They anticipate being let down so they don’t make efforts.
#10 Blaming Others :
The emotionally unavailable partner becomes defensive so easily because they automatically go on the defense when they are exposed. They usually blame others for their conflicts in a relationship.
Additionally, the more you try to connect with them, the more they pull away just because of the unavailability of emotions or the lack of feelings !!
Why people can’t share their feelings?
According to me, life teaches us a plethora of lessons in every way !!
So, I think that people who can’t share their feelings are going through a dramatic life transition like a recent breakup, a dispute in the family, and maybe about the future settlements, and their emotions are hard to pin down.
I believe that if you block your feelings, you can also block your pain.
So? What if you really like and love that person?
As from my personal experience, it could be a disaster in a one-sided relationship with a person who can’t love you the way you deserve and you need to proceed with cautions.
If you keep on struggling and having hope; maybe or maybe it’s not a good thing.
If the person shows no sign of changing their perspective towards you, think of moving on as an act of self-respect and care !!
I know it sucks but it will be a lot less painful if you part ways early.
On the opposite side of this, if your mind and heart start believing that your partner is being responsive to your emotions then they may just need help to understand the feelings.
Moreover, you need to behave very gentle, polite, and try not to get all heated up !!
To conclude :
You really don’t need to give up on your relations until it’s one-sided love.
Emotional unavailability can cause a lot of problems like frustration.
Talking to your partner can help you identifying the problems and working through them productively !!