All of us experience rejection at some point in our lives. From applying for a job to asking someone out on a date we’ve all been told no it’s an inevitable part of life. But too many people think that rejection equals failure. They think it’s a sign they should have been in whatever it is they were trying to accomplish.
Now I’m sure you know people who are rejected by someone or something and let that rejection stop them from moving forward in life. Maybe they were rejected by a romantic interest and decided to give up on love altogether.
Maybe they didn’t get a bank loan so they never followed through on their plan to start their own business, they wrote a book that was rejected by several publishers and so they simply abandoned their dream of becoming an author.
I find that so sad because rejection is what you make of it. If you accept it as the end of the road and the death of a goal, it will be. But if you reject the idea that rejection means failure and instead approach it as a positive learning experience simply a natural step on the path to getting where you want to go you can harness the power of rejection and use it to propel yourself toward even higher levels of success.
Here’s the deal. You are going to be rejected many times in life but that doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong track or that your goals aren’t worth pursuing. It doesn’t mean you can’t ultimately get what you want, it is just a delay in results. May be you’ve asked the wrong person or maybe you asked the right person at the wrong time.
It may also mean that you need to get better at how to make effective requests or how to give good sales pitches, it could also mean that the universe is testing your resolve, gauging how much you really want it. What’s your level of commitment?
Now if getting everything we want was easy everyone would already have everything they want which is obviously not the case. No simply means not yet. So keep asking. A yes is out there waiting to be asked.
I’d like you to consider this. Rejection is a myth. Let me say that again rejection is a myth at the deepest level. If you ask for something and get a no your life didn’t get worse.
You probably would have asked you out for dinner and you said no my life didn’t get worse. I didn’t have anyone deep in it with before I asked you out and I don’t have anyone to eat dinner with. After I asked you out my life stayed the same now it only feels worth if I start talking to myself and telling myself things like there must be something wrong with me. I’ll never get a date, well I’m gonna die alone.
We tell ourselves that we’ve lost something when a person says no to us but that’s not true at all. If you get turned down for that date or passed over for that promotion you’re no worse off than you were before plus you’re now in a position to receive some valuable information that you may not have had access to before because now you can ask that person “why they said no”. More important you can ask them this valuable question.
What would have to happen for you to say yes?
Now the answer could give you some valuable feedback on how to be more effective in the future and that’s incredibly powerful information to have. When you simply allow rejection to stop you from keeping on asking you give your personal power over to someone else but you’re the only person who ultimately has control over your own destiny. So don’t let one person’s opinion stop you from achieving your heartfelt dreams and your highest vision for your life.
That said I know that becoming comfortable with rejection is often easier said than done especially if you’re an introvert. Some people will definitely say yes to you and some won’t so care and there’s no point in stressing about it because even when you do get a no there’s definitely someone out there who are waiting to give you a yes.
Here’s a helpful formula for success and asking. When the world says no you say next. Ask the next person. There are a lot of people out there in the world. 7 billion to be exact. Now that’s a lot of possibilities.
You can also ask the same person at a later date. Maybe their circumstances have changed, they have more money now than they have before, they have new needs, they have a more open mind.
Now think about this every actor, singer or writer who’s ever made it big every single one of them has experienced rejection time and time and time again.
Steve Jobs, the iconic founder of Apple he was fired by his own Board of Directors but he didn’t let that stop him from pursuing his dreams. He eventually came back and reinvented the company and was responsible for making it the largest company in the world today. Many of the world’s most successful business people have experienced repeated rejection but they never let it stop them from achieving their wildly ambitious goals.
So the next time someone tells you no you say next and move on to the next opportunity to reach your goal. Just remember that in order to learn from your rejection you have to be willing to explore it. Simply ask the person why they said no and what you would need to do to get a yes.
Listen to their feedback and decide if it makes sense to you. If not ask for a second opinion from someone you trust but learn where the gaps are between. Where you are and where you want to be and what you need to do to fill in those gaps.