Can you meet women using cheesy pickup lines and make it work? There are concepts of flirting and seduction that are misunderstood and misrepresented as pick up lines.
I did some research online to see if I was wrong and others have already figured it out.
However, as I suspected, nobody. Not many of the dating and relationship coaches for men have grasped the true utility of pick up lines and their effectiveness.
Some coaches believe that pick up lines only work under limited circumstances (e.g. the girl already likes you or you’re a very attractive guy). They are dismissing pick up lines altogether as something to be avoided.
So do I know something they don’t?
Here is why some of the misconceptions out there are wrong: I want to mention the correct observations about using a pickup line:
- These lines alone will not get you very far with a girl
- The majority of people (I’d say around 99%) don’t use them the right way
- Lines can give a girl a small insight into you.
The main issue I see is men misunderstanding the purpose of a pickup line. When walking up to a girl, the goal should never be to get some kind of (positive) reaction, or even to get a conversation going. This is simply expecting too much.
The actual goal of the pickup line is achieved within the first three seconds of the approach, that’s it! However, don’t let this throw you off…a lot can happen during those seconds and there are a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Take a look at where most men go wrong, they…
- Use cheesy lines overly seriously
- Expect the girl to automatically “enjoy” how funny or cocky they are
- Wait for the girl to contribute to the conversation right after their line
- Don’t have a follow-up or don’t know how to deal with an unexpected reaction
- Abandon the interaction at the smallest level of resistance
There’s an easy solution to fix this
Here is a tried and tested two-step formula that bypasses all those sticking points automatically and gets you into an actual conversation with her, right from the pickup line
When you approach a stranger don’t be weird about it, make sure you grab their attention, don’t be talking over someone’s shoulder from behind. Accept that bystanders will hear you and learn to deal with it. Use your voice to its fullest, being loud eliminates any risk of coming off as “creepy”.
Secondly, use pick-up lines that are funny or amusing to YOU as opposed to overtly trying to make her laugh
In social interactions with another human being: everything begins with you. This is true also when flirting: how we feel transfers onto people we interact with.
When you open a conversation in a way that makes you smile or laugh you automatically make the girl feel much more comfortable around you. You can even lightly make fun of her in a joking way. This way, you are conveying confidence and a sense of humor. They are both highly attractive qualities.
This goes hand in hand with the recognized concept of self-amusement and the law of state transference. You can view it as if you’re teasing or making fun of her in a joking way.
How to Transition from Cheesy Lines Into a Real Conversation
Here is where most guys screw up. Occasionally, the opening line can spark a conversation.
However, don’t count on that to happen. As soon as the ball’s in her court, you need to take it back again, and here’s why: your line doesn’t interest the girl, she wants to know who the hell you are, and now is the time to show her.
Follow up by either introducing yourself or stating your true reason for talking to her. You can even acknowledge the cheesy line and laugh about it.
You are communicating to her that you are aware of how corny you are but that you are perfectly comfortable with it. You also show her that you are willing to have a real conversation and that you don’t rely on your pick up line to get her. She isn’t going to be seduced so easily.
To summarize, within three seconds you have to:
- Catch her attention
- Transferred positive emotions onto her
- Stated your intent
- Established a level of comfort
- Demonstrated that you can lead
- Conveyed confidence and a sense of humor
- Displayed self-awareness
- Ensured her that you view her as a real person
How many guys on average can achieve all that within the first three seconds of interaction?
Personally, I find the process from this point on a walk in the park. Even if you don’t end up going out together, you have circumvented any awkward or weird interactions that don’t lead anywhere and leave you both frustrated.
Lastly, a word of caution: don’t misinterpret using cheesy pickup lines as a means of starting conversations with any girl. Overly cheesy approaches are very high risk, and only pay off with more adventurous girls.