We can all agree that the fast-paced, interconnected world we live in has its perks. But it has its downsides, too. Even though we can connect with someone on the other side of the world, it can be difficult to connect with your partner, even when they’re in the same room.
Being ‘busy’ is something we all identify with.
However, some people are just busier than others. Having a partner who’s committed to their job, studying, family, friends, or other commitments can be sexy. But it can also become frustrating when you feel like they spend more time away from home than with you.
And when they are home, that deep connection you crave isn’t always there.
This kind of dynamic can sometimes lead to uncomfortable feelings. You want to feel like a priority in your partner’s life—and you should.
But there’s more than one way for a relationship to thrive.
Finding new ways to connect with your busy partner is key to keeping the peace and ensuring your relationship continues to prosper, no matter what your respective schedules look like.
Try these ideas when you feel like your connection is dipping.
Keep Communication Lines Open
One of the most important things to do when you’re experiencing relationship issues is to remain open and communicative with one another.
If your partner’s absurd hours and lack of availability are bothering you, let them know before your feelings become convoluted. Often, we assume the people we love can read our minds and know exactly what we want without saying it. That simply isn’t true!
Being transparent with your partner about how you feel will allow them to make adjustments where possible and be more sensitive to your needs. Communication is the key.
Embrace The Power Of Planning
If your partner has a busy schedule, the best way to spend more time with them is to become a part of it.
Instead of waiting naively for a free moment to arise, get ahead of the game by officially scheduling dates and quality time on the calendar.
Planning in advance allows your partner to configure work and relationship arrangements more equally. If they have a strict boss or time management schedule, this may be the only way to ensure you actually get to spend time with them.
Run Errands Together
If the only time your partner is available to hang out is when you have a lot to do, why not kill two birds with one stone? Running errands together can be a fun way to connect outside of work and home.
Take the opportunity to play your favorite music in the car, grab some coffee, and hustle your way through a to-do list with your partner. Even though you’d probably rather get a romantic dinner, running errands together is still a great substitute for not seeing each other at all.
When it comes to healthy relationships, technology often gets a bad rap. But while too much time online can lead to distance, it can also be a very useful tool for staying connected when you’re apart.
Calling, texting, and even emailing throughout the day can be a great way to stay in touch no matter where your other half is. Even long, boring hours at the office can be made better by sending selfies or memes to each other as the day drags on.
Of course, technological communication is no match for real-life quality time, but it’s certainly a step up from stone-cold silence all day.
Make Time For Physical Intimacy
On the topic of real-life quality time, let’s talk about physical intimacy. For most couples, this is one of the major ways to connect, and it’s easy to understand why.
Humans are hard-wired to crave physical touch, a tendency we can measure through the release of “love” hormones like oxytocin when we experience skin-to-skin contact. But if your partner isn’t often available, getting your oxytocin fix can be a challenge.
To make the relationship work, you both need to set aside time to get physical. Whether that looks like snuggling on the couch watching Netflix, giving each other massages, or trying out new things in the bedroom, physical intimacy is fundamental for a healthy relationship dynamic.
Spend More Time With Friends
While a partner who is constantly busy might make you feel jilted sometimes, you can also see it as an opportunity to lean into other, equally important aspects of life.
Remember that your life does not exist solely within the context of your relationship. There are other areas worth exploring, too.
Spending more time with friends and family can give you an outlet for the emotional connection that you’re craving and give you other things to look forward to outside of your beau.
Wanting to connect with the people around you is a completely natural and valid desire. Lean into your friends, your parents, your pets, or even newer acquaintances to fill that gap and keep you feeling connected when your partner is focusing on their career or other important business.
Be Flexible And Open To Compromise
For any relationship to work, both parties need to be flexible and open to compromise.
When you’re dating a busy person, you will need to adjust your expectations for the amount of time you spend together, and they will need to find ways to make you feel like an equal priority.
Healthy compromise means empathizing with your partner’s situation and making small sacrifices for the sake of the other. If both parties can commit to this, a true connection will naturally develop.
There is no secret to the perfect relationship.
Each one is unique and comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. But when it comes to dealing with a work-addicted partner, you can mitigate feelings of exasperation by remembering why you love them and choose to be with them.
It might be their tenacity, determination, or kindness. In times of cynicism, focus on why you fell in love in the first place. That will keep your emotional connection and your relationship strong, no matter what your respective schedules may look like.